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Testicular Health – Painful Testicles

As  a medical science student, about to become a doctor at some point in life [phew!], there are various curious aspects of body anatomy that we come across. And to start, well why not, start from the most controversial?!

LicenseSome rights reserved by mootown A monument to all those who've had to deal with testicular cancer.

LicenseSome rights reserved by mootown A monument to all those who’ve had to deal with testicular cancer.

Trueplayer4life: Hey, have you seen two onions, a banana and a white chiffon peignoir go at it?

Personmindingownbusinessinelevator: What the fuc-?

Trueplayer4life: DEEZ NUTS!!!

Attempt that shit in a church or an elevator. You’re welcome.

To those of you with these wonderful accessories and for those of you without, I implore you to take a moment with me to contemplate the source of masculinity and classic Italian-American hand gestures. Behold! An aesthetic wonder of the universe.

On the outside, they appear hairy, wrinkly, and are always hanging out – kind of like your girlfriends annoying friend. On the inside are just these two century eggs chillin’ with your children. Two century old’s hanging out with your kids. Like MJ! As in Jordan. See what I did there. Oh yah, they FUCKING HURT when treated poorly. Common causes of testicular pain include woman….

Common causes of testicular pain – where you can’t work out what the fuck is going on – include infection/inflammation (called orchitis or epididymitis), torsion (when your balls do the twist on that dangly bit and cut off their own blood supply) and cancer (can be painless). All are treatable if you get it picked up relatively early.

Unfortunately men are less likely to go see a doctor – it’s some macho, pride, fear thing we have. So put that shit aside, and let your GP check your nuts out. Learn about your testicles, learn how to examine them. Here is a link/treat:

You’re welcome again, a “deez nuts” joke, how to take care of your century eggs, plus a video of someone else examining their testicles.

See you next time.

CONCLUSION: You should see a doctor if your balls are sore.

By Harvey Dandy, Medical Student


2 thoughts on “Testicular Health – Painful Testicles


  1. Pingback: My Life in Bullet Points | Drink Lei Down Pass Out - August 22, 2013

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